Guess What?

Hello All!!!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and like my previous blog says, we have sooo much to be thankful for! My list includes great friends and wonderful family! My friend Rebecca is amazing at crafts, though I hate using that term because there is so much more to what she does. She is creative, coordinated, and pretty much just an artist! I have seen this girl cook, successfully can stuff(including peaches and tomatoes,etc), and do all sorts of fun stuff! NOW...she is opening her very own etsy shop!!!! Check it out HERE. She has everything from frames to aprons. She just opened, but if i know my girl correctly, there will be lots more to come- is it just me, or is this just ridiculously exciting?
Also, If you want to see more of my friend Rebecca, check out her blog SparklinBecks! She always fills her blog with all kinds of fun stuff- makes for a great read. I will let you guys go, we all have some shopping to do!

Life is...

Short. And amazing. And hard. And tragic. And beautiful. And perfectly the way God intended it to be. Thanksgiving this year has a whole new meaning for me, as recent events have made me thankful for more than I ever thought possible. I was driving into work today, and thought about all that had happened…My friends, that I look to as family, lost someone dear to them, and they were just beginning on that road of new pain. It was yesterday when we found out, and seeing the hurt on their faces began to make me weep. I recalled the way I felt when the Treslers, some other dear friends of mine, lost someone special too. I remembered hearing of their loss, and just picturing the hurt within them also made me weep. I hate the pain that comes along with these circumstances, because it is such an intimate pain. I began to think about how God revealed so many things to me, and how I couldn’t believe I was so impacted by the situations of my friends/family. When I was in the world, I cared but would never show an outward sign of such emotion. In both circumstances, I wished there was more I could do, hoped there was something I could say, or just a prayer that would fix it all. But I couldn’t. I had never faced a loved one passing, and I didn’t know what to do. I. just. didn’t. know. All I could do was pray for healing and strength for the ones I love, because God is all knowing, and I had faith that He heard their cries. Lost in the sense of losing someone you love, and knowing that you will never see them again is by all means devastating, but I have seen these families pick themselves up, worship God, and give Him thanks through the pain. They are all Gods children, and though we are blessed to see another day, we must remember that life is but a vapor- here and quickly gone again. Called home, and gone on to Glory when it’s your time.
I thought these things in an awe- inspiring moment, wondering how many times people of faith had taken another road, blaming God for returning their loved ones so quickly to His home. And, wondering how I would react in such a situation when my turn comes, as I know someday it might. Losing someone you love, will you feel forgotten, lonely, and desolate? I prayed that I would never feel that way, when suddenly, as God would have it, I came to a stop sign. I peered out. Hum.. A new crop of corn had been planted, and was beginning to grow…there were birds flying about, all different kinds, flying aggressively, then swooping down to gather or graze on some of the crops that were just starting to grow. Isn’t that bad for the corn I thought? So many seeds being taken away, how will they ever grow? Where is the scarecrow to prevent the birds from coming again? Hadn’t the farmers taken action to protect their crops?
And then I heard “See? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (mat. 6:26)
“Yes God” I said. “Feeds them”, I thought…What a perfect picture of God in this situation. The birds knew where to get the food, yet the farmers do not worry, because in due season, the harvest will be plentiful. There are some that will wither away I’m sure, but their purpose was not in vain. Through taking this food, many birds have been fed, tending to the most primal of needs, sustenance, perhaps even feeding babies in their warm winter nests, so that they may live another day. They know what must occur to maintain life. Yes, we are more precious then those birds, all Gods creation, and meant for a purpose. We may not be there when the harvest is reaped, but we will have served a purpose none-the-less, and God is good in everything He does.
My heart goes out to those mourning today, sending such an important reminder that God will carry us, feed us, teach us-spiritually, wherever we go. He promises to be there all the days of our life, until such time as we are called home. Then, and only then , will we know the goodness that is forever revealed to us- face to face, in the God that serve.

I'm Finding Time..

I'm finding time today to share something that has really uplifted my week. I have been busy, and should probably be doing a lot of other things right now, but I wanted to capture the goodness that I have felt throughout the week.
God has opened up a chance for me to talk consistantly with someone that I think previously (though I wanted to) had not always sought to draw close to. Again not intentionally, but I was too worried about what she would think, if she was too busy, or that she would just have something better to do than talk to me..(silly huh?) I wished that I was closer to this person but never put forth an agressive action to do so.
Well, somehow things changed..and I'm soooo happy they did. The time was right, and everything just seemed so comfortable and easy and fun at the same time. I see this person week after week, and just thought that we were close, but not that close,and I wondered of we ever would be. After all, when I talked to her, I always enjoyed it, so what was keeping us from being great friends?
Then I realized it...I was. I was so afraid of feeling silly or putting myself out there, that I held back from a fantastic friendship! She has poured into my life this week, and it has been a blessing just laughing, sharing, and being able to talk to her. I had to thank God for my friend because she found time to pick up the phone one day and call me. Not something she normally does, but she trusted God, put herself out there, and made way for our friendship to open up! I am so happy God placed her in my life, because just when you feel like you are all alone, unique,and different in your own way, God places someone there beside you that says: "I've been there, I understand, and hey- you aren't that crazy after all!"

Update on my monday

I'm in a great mood today folks! *sigh* I have to tell y'all that I could not begin to thank God enough for the things He has given me, and the people He has placed in my life. Not to mention the BLESSED couple days He has graciously bestowed upon me..
I returned to work today expecting the very least. I mean, what difference does it make if I was gone? Lil 'ol me? well...It was lovely! I got so many hugs and " we missed you" s That I think I started to feel overwhelmed. The most precious moment of my day though was knowing that one of my friends outside of work (that I fellowship with) paid me a very encouraging compliment without me even knowing it! I have heard these comments here and there and always tried to "write them off" but I have been listening to the heart behind these comments, and I have to tell you, it has become a very beautiful gift to me.
I pray always that God will use me, that He will never let go of me, that He will simply hear me, and in hearing these words, I find goodness in all that surrounds me. He heard me..I thought to myself today..He heard me. Isn't that cause for rejoice?!!
Friends, I tell you- there is NO other love like the love of our God, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is always on time, and knows just what to show you when you need it most. though you never know what is wrong, like the Good doctor He is-He hears your ailments, knows your hurts, and makes way for you to be whole again! God is so good to me, even when I'm no good to myself!

The week ahead

It's Sunday? Wow. As I looked at my last post, I was happy that I was beginning to close the gap between postings..nice.
Today I am reminded of the week ahead, and I found myself thinking about it constantly over the past couple days. It's weird because after being off for a month, I'm sure a lot of people would dread going back to work, but I, however, enjoy working. The social aspect of it is uniquely satisfying, and there are a lot of people there I love to talk to. Other believers in Christ, and other people that I generally "love". My sister has made it known to me that many people have sent their prayers and well wishes my way, and I find it a blessing to hear. They must know enough about me and my relationship with God to know that prayer is what I needed and would have appreciated most. It's nice to hear that people miss me or think of me for that matter, but it warms my heart to know that my friends at work would go to God on my behalf. I can't find words to describe the feeling, but I love it!
You see, this week has been tough for me. I've been restless in many aspects of life, and I felt like all I heard was a laundry list of things I do wrong. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't post this for a pity party, but I am hoping you can relate. I thought to myself...will this ever end? Am I just one of those people that will never do anything right? Or maybe I'm just one of those people you simply forget about, let fade into the back ground. I convinced myself over the years somehow that no one would really ever be satisfied with me, so I found myself saying"forget it. why try if you can never succeed?"
But this is what I have to remind myself: God is all powerful, and the adversary is quite cunning. Though the thought may have crossed my mind, the adversary would love to reap a harvest of my continued dissatisfaction. But God is the one who saved me, who grabbed my very life from the grips of this world, and who loved me long before I ever loved myself. Indeed, life is irritating, and frustrating, and you may feel invisible. The One we love is not seen, can be frustrated, and gets irritated from time to time I'm sure. We treat Him as though He doesn't matter, as though He never existed, and love Him like He is no more.
This week, my goal is to turn my eyes towards God, and seek to be seen by Him, and no one else. This way, regardless of my circumstance I know that I will be seen by the One who loves me most, and after all, isn't He the only one that matters?

A Thing of Beauty...

So I was looking at my sisters collection of pictures this morning, and noticed that one of her pictures of myself was selected to be in a group. I was flattered, and went to check it out. As I scrolled through the pages and pages of pictures, I admired all the beautiful people. How petite and gorgeous some women were, and how flawless they all seemed. Then I thought back to my picture...UGH! I thought. They could have picked another one. Surely they would have liked another one..I felt so "un-beautiful" in this picture. Why would they choose it?
Then I remembered what someone once told me, and I still remember it to this day. She said to me, "Tawn, you have kind eyes. The kind of eyes that welcome another from across the room, the kind of eyes that tell people everything will be ok. The kind of eyes that see right through to the soul...they're beautiful" she said. and I was amazed. And happy.
People compliment each other all the time, but for someone to take the time to see what was on the other side of my eyes, into my soul..is amazing. It's a rare occurrence for me, so I remember it dearly. Then I thought, this must be what God sees when He looks at us. We like to see the outside, what WE want people to see. Trying desperately to do all we can to mask the wreck that resides inside us. But God has known us from the beginning, and has touched us with little gifts that I think we never even notice. It's that "I can't quite put my finger on it" moment when you see another person and can appreciate them for who they are. truly, they are a thing of beauty. Scripture tells us in 1Peter 3:3-5:

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

Now this is the kind of beautiful I hope to be. God has done a work in me, and continues to work always, Lord willing, when I stand before Him- this beauty will be all He sees.

Random thoughts

I haven't blogged in a long time, and I can't figure out why. I have been home on medical leave and have lots of time, but I just haven't felt like myself lately. I have to say that I have a tendency to get this way a lot, and the feeling comes suddenly. My theory is that I am a wild and free spirit and I often feel "tied down". Not by my family or by my husband by any means, as they are the source of much joy and laughter in my life,but i long for the adventure that life sometimes brings. I mean I LOVE EXCITEMENT! I really do.
The everyday strains take a toll on me and I feel like I'm sure so many of us do. Wishing we had more freedom to do the things we want to do. Financially, socially, economically. Even my walk with Christ- I yearn for more! I don;t know what to do with myself sometimes, and still struggle to feel like I haven't really found myself..but here is the great part..I am not my own. I was bought with a price and Christ is the owner of my soul! That's good news,- wait. GREAT news, but I often struggle with what to do with myself in the "in between stages". The everyday living. Who would He want me to be?
Really, It's hard sometimes to be so devoted to something, because personally I feel like if I don't give 110%, then I'm not giving enough. I have always strived for the best, always wanted to be perfect, but Thank you Jesus that He is perfect, and it wasn't left up to me! I pray often and always that the Lord will not forget me, and hang on to the hope that I will see Him one day in heaven. We all have a chance, and a choice to make in life. To live or to die.

Matthew 16:25 says:
25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

So many around me have been in pain, or have gone through something(including myself). Even Tiana's great-grandmother passed recently, and explaining to my child what happened was hard. But pointing her towards God is easy, and showing her that a life lived in Christ, looking towards God is always worth living. May we remember that God is always a call away, and though we feel alone, we are never without Him. He is so good to me, and I praise Him for knowing where I am, who I am, and when I need Him most!