Random thoughts

I haven't blogged in a long time, and I can't figure out why. I have been home on medical leave and have lots of time, but I just haven't felt like myself lately. I have to say that I have a tendency to get this way a lot, and the feeling comes suddenly. My theory is that I am a wild and free spirit and I often feel "tied down". Not by my family or by my husband by any means, as they are the source of much joy and laughter in my life,but i long for the adventure that life sometimes brings. I mean I LOVE EXCITEMENT! I really do.
The everyday strains take a toll on me and I feel like I'm sure so many of us do. Wishing we had more freedom to do the things we want to do. Financially, socially, economically. Even my walk with Christ- I yearn for more! I don;t know what to do with myself sometimes, and still struggle to feel like I haven't really found myself..but here is the great part..I am not my own. I was bought with a price and Christ is the owner of my soul! That's good news,- wait. GREAT news, but I often struggle with what to do with myself in the "in between stages". The everyday living. Who would He want me to be?
Really, It's hard sometimes to be so devoted to something, because personally I feel like if I don't give 110%, then I'm not giving enough. I have always strived for the best, always wanted to be perfect, but Thank you Jesus that He is perfect, and it wasn't left up to me! I pray often and always that the Lord will not forget me, and hang on to the hope that I will see Him one day in heaven. We all have a chance, and a choice to make in life. To live or to die.

Matthew 16:25 says:
25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

So many around me have been in pain, or have gone through something(including myself). Even Tiana's great-grandmother passed recently, and explaining to my child what happened was hard. But pointing her towards God is easy, and showing her that a life lived in Christ, looking towards God is always worth living. May we remember that God is always a call away, and though we feel alone, we are never without Him. He is so good to me, and I praise Him for knowing where I am, who I am, and when I need Him most!