A new day..

So many things to write about, so little paper...
I guess I will start with the weekend. It was an eventful one, concerning my spirit, and it has changed a lot within me. Like I had stated in a previous blog my friends sister in law passed away, and I found my self at her service there early on Saturday. It was a beautiful, amazing, and love filled home going service. It caused me to think about my life, and what I would leave behind, what kind of a person I would like to be.. and I decided that I would let God figure that out. He can do so many things in my life, so I re-committed myself to Him. This was ironic to me because it happened to be what we talked about during Sundays sermon, so it was a reassurance to me and comfort to know that God was indeed trying to tell me something.
It seems though, that as soon as you do that, as soon as you listen, the adversary looks for a way to bring you down. I argued with my family a lot on Sunday which saddened me because I feel like there is a simple answer to all the chaos that surrounds us. I hate fighting, but we are human, and it is hard to show love to someone inside a moment when they are pushing every possible button you have....relentlessly.
Especially for me.
and the adversary knows it.
I have a temper-a short fuse- and irritated way about me, because deep down, I just want to love people, and when its not reciprocated, or when I don't get the answer I expect-I get hurt- then what do I do? I get irritated. It's so easy, and so quick, yet so dis-satisfying. I often feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle in my very own flesh, and there I am, helpless in the middle of it- just screaming for it to stop! Stop..Stop..STOP! Then God shows up.. soothing and subtle to my Spirit.
God has so much more planned for us, and I realized on Saturday that we haven't much time to do it in. Who cares what food you will eat today? Where the laundry goes, or some other meaningless matter? I don't! No, my focus is on God, and all the Glory that He has planned for me. Someday, all these things will pass away, and I too, will go with it- but my desire, my prayer, my never ending hope is that while in the presence of the Lord, He is pleased with me. God instilled in me a warm, loving, and joyous spirit, full of life, and screaming out for excitement and fun. Tell me how THAT can't bring God Glory- No matter what, He is my Father, and I am His child, and though not perfect, I pray that in His eyes- one day, I will be.